2009

It has been way too long since I have posted anything. I hope that in the days ahead I can get back to posting regularly as I was before.
I can't believe that March of 2009 is already here. This year is already flying by...it seems Christmas was just over and we were ringing in the New Year. The first couple of months of 2009 have been a difficult time for me and my family. We have all been sick with something; flu, cold, sinus infections, etc., passing it around to one another and back again. I think now we are all well...for the first time since Dec. 19, 2008.
I have been in the Word on a regular basis, however not daily as I would like to be. I have put together a new schedule for myself and am hoping and praying that God will give me the stamina, strength and desire to accomplish the schedule. It is not grueling or anything like that, it is just a healthy schedule that gives me a good, rounded day with the Lord at the center of my focus.
I ask for your prayers. I have not been diligently looking for my true voice and even though it is there, I have missed the daily "workouts".
I hope that life is being kind to all of you and I pray that something I type on here will be uplifting to someone each day.
May all of you be blessed as you go through your days with our Father.

Take a Deep Breath!

Sometimes people do things that hurt us.  Sometimes they do it intentionally and sometimes they don't even know they have done it.  I am sure that I have done things to hurt people and I didn't realize it.  I also know that I have hurt people intentionally, sometimes because I have been hurt and am lashing out and other times it is just the flesh in me coming out and I don't keep things in check. 

It is hard to forget the times that someone has hurt you.  Even though you might forgive them, when something comes up and that button is pushed, it is like going through the pain of being hurt all over again.  Ever experience this?  I don't think that I am the only one who has.  It is no fun to go through the pain of "old stuff". 

I am trying to be more conscious of how I treat people, even when I am having a hard time.  I am going to double check the words of my email and think how it might come across to someone that I have hurt in the past...could it possibly trigger one of their buttons?  Could it cause unnecessary pain for them to relive?  I can't be responsible for how someone deals with their "stuff", but I can be sensitive and loving. 

I encourage you and challenge you all to think twice before you say something, before you type and send off that email in frustration.  Take a deep breath and pray that God will bring you to the point where no matter what this person might have done or said, you can still treat them with love and kindness.

ALIVE!

Being alone is not something that I enjoy.  Sure, I like my quiet times  in the morning and I even enjoy the short spurts of being home alone when the house is all quiet and I can do whatever I want (this doesn't happen very often). I also enjoy going shopping or to the bookstore alone at times, but all in all, I do not desire to spend my days by myself.  This is because God designed us to be bonded to others.  It is what keeps us "alive".  If we are alone and not in relationship with others, we will become stagnant, not growing, essentially dead.  When we are in loving relationships with others, we are alive and growing.  When we are not, we are slowly dying inside.  On my desk, I have a small picture frame that says, " Above all else guard your heart for it is the well spring of life"  Proverbs 4:23 .

Hmmm....if our heart is the well spring of life and  we are designed to be in relationship with others then our heart is essential to living.  I am not talking about being physically alive, we all do that everyday, I am talking about being ALIVE!!!  There is no other word for it other than ALIVE!!!

It is impossible to be ALONE and be ALIVE!  It can't be done.  God made us to be in community and relationship together.  But our natural tendency when we feel tension or friction in any situation is to pull away.  When we have tension in our jobs or at home, we pull away, when we have tension with others, we pull away from them.  That is the last thing we ought do.  God wants us to go to one another and express our needs and desires. He wants us to draw close to one another and bond.  This is very important for us to grow.  He also desires us to reach out to others.  Show others that we care by being there for them, especially when they are just doing everyday life.  Usually we tend to be in our own little worlds until something drastic happens. Someone gets sick or has a family emergency. Someone loses their job or has an accident and we go running to their aid. This is wonderful and I am not saying that we shouldn't do this, but why only when there is an emergency?  

There are many things in life that set us back and we all usually go running to one another to help out.  But when the "shock" of what has happened wears off and we get back to our normal lives, the person that needed us seems to be holding up okay or we see so many others helping, we think that we aren't needed.  This is so not true.  We need to be in fellowship daily whether there is a "storm in our life" or not. Especially when there is not a storm in our lives, because that is when we become stagnant, that is when we become dead and not growing.

I Needed to Listen

2 Timothy 1:3-7

Verse 7: For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline.

Gods words are important, they change our hearts.  When our hearts are changed our lives are changed. 

God is in control of everything that happens to me.  Do not be fearful, even of satan, he cannot touch me because I belong to God.

God has not given me a spirit of fear, He has given me a spirit of Love.  It is God's love that motivates us to do the work of the church.  Not because we want to, it is Gods love that makes us do it. 

We need to remember that not only do we have God's love, but we have God's power too.  When we try to do things in our own power, we mess up. Along with His power, He gives us a sound mind; that is the result of Gods power and love.  He helps us to do His work.

God has promised He will never leave me nor forsake me.

God is my leader and guides me with His Word.  God's Word is important for me to grow.

I have no fear today because God has given to me His love, power and as a result I have a sound mind

If I am afraid, then I do not have Gods love in my heart.

Thank you Joan......I needed to listen.

Honoring God With My Life

I am constantly struggling with wondering if I am doing what I am supposed to or if I am doing something wrong.  I believe that it is a product of my upbringing...we learn at a very young age to try to please others.  This is something that is usually ingrained in us very early on.  We want to please our parents or care givers, our teachers and our friends as we get a little older.  This is a way of life, I believe, for all of us.  Some of us learn to break out of this mind set as we go into adulthood and others get so ingrained in it that we don't even see it anymore.  I am not talking about being respectful, I am talking about totally losing ourselves and who God made us to be because we want to please others in our lives.  Society calls it co-dependency....I call it "people pleasing".  This is one of my struggles.  I don't want anyone mad at me for any reason and I also want to do things the way that I think is right or the best way.  Well, if you want me to do something one way and I believe there is a better or a righter (made up word) way, I am in a mess because, in the end,  one of us is not going to be happy.  This battle in me goes on often and sometimes I win and sometimes you win.   I pray often about this as I know that there is a lesson in here for me. My Father God often teaches me through things such as this...daily stuff that I do over and over again and then one day He opens my eyes.  Sometimes with a two by four upside the head, but most often with a gentle whisper that stuns me.

This morning, during my quiet time, I was just thumbing through my bible.  Mostly reading stuff I have written out in the margins or stuff that I have underlined.  This is what I came upon....

Written in bright blue pen and highlighted in yellow, "DO SOMETHING", and then scripture below it is also underlined and highlighted. 

This is Paul speaking ...."as for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority.  I don't even trust my own judgment on this point.  My conscience is clear, but that doesn't prove I'm right.  It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide."....it goes on later to say..."I am not writing these things to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children.  For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father." 

It is not our job to please others, even though it is something that we naturally want to do.  Our job on this earth is to please Father God.  To Honor Him with our lives.  This should be our one & only purpose.  Then everything else falls into place..kind of like the rice and the walnuts.

1 Corinthians 4: 20 ~ For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God's power.  Which do you choose?"

A Life of Drudgery vs. An Abundant Life!

The last week or so has been a difficult week.  Not so much has happened, just everything has been difficult.  Trying to schedule all that needs to be done in a day, keeping the girls on track with school, getting things done at the office, just normal daily stuff, even getting out of bed each morning and getting to bed each night at a decent hour has been a struggle.  This is what I call "doing life on my own".  I haven't been in the Word in about a week.  Everyday, I say, "I have got to get up in the morning and have my time with the Lord", and every morning I am beat, dead dog tired and don't get up. Why am I so tired? Because I don't go to bed early enough. Why don't I go to bed early enough? Because I am watching TV or reading a book or doing some other "lame sauce" thing (this is one of my teenagers favorite terms) that fills my time, or wastes it...however you want to look at it.

My life this past week has been a reflection of my time with Father God or rather a reflection of my time "WITHOUT" Father God..  This is a perfect picture for me of the difference between a life of drudgery and an "ABUNDANT LIFE".

A few years back...okay maybe more than a few, I saw an example that just blew me away.  Maybe you have seen it, but I still think it is a good reminder for all of us.  My husbands uncle had a quart jar, 3 large walnuts and about 4 cups of rice.  The jar represented a person. The rice represented all the things in that persons life, work, spouse, children, friends, church, etc. And the walnuts represented the Father, Son & Holy Spirit.  First, he put all the rice in the jar and then proceeded to try and put the walnuts in.....wasn't going to happen.  There was no room for the walnuts with all that rice in there.  But then he took the rice out, put the walnuts in first and then poured the rice in....IT ALL FIT! Everything went in and he didn't even have to force anything.  This shows that if we put Christ first in our lives, everything else will fall into place as it should.

Father God, I don't want to do life without you.  I know that I have been filling my time with other things and it is causing me to "pull away".  Not because I want to, but because I am putting other things first.  You are my strength, my rock, You are my light and my peace.  You are my joy. You provide everything for me.  All I have to do is receive it.  Thank you!

Treasure in Fragile Clay Jars!

Sometimes when I start a post I have no idea what I am going to write down.  Other times I can't hardly wait to get my hands on the keyboard, worried that I am going to forget what is coming so fast into my mind and heart.  Well, today is one of those days when I have no idea what I am going to write.  There are many different things running through my mind, it is hard to narrow down a topic, so I will just start and we will see what comes out.

The last couple of weeks has been one of gloomy, dark, rainy weather, incredible flooding, hurting people, hungry people, dying people, despair everywhere.  We have been covered up with the storms coming through here in the Caribbean.    I really have nothing to complain about in comparison to what the people around me are going through, but the truth is that I am human and my struggles, however lame, are still very real to me.

Here I am in the middle of a third world country and it is pouring down rain on an already very saturated land and I am not a happy camper.  I don't like rainy weather very much.  I don't like cold weather either and I really don't like mud and yuck.  It causes all kinds of irritations and frustrations.The kids want to go out and play in the rain and ride their 4 wheelers and get all muddy and gross. Then they are cold and they want to come in the house and have hot cocoa and watch TV or play video games...all in wet muddy clothes. I am not talking about just my kids, but every kid on the mission center.  Don't get me wrong, I love kids and I am glad that they come here to hang out and have fun, but the mud and rain just makes everything so yucky!  Yesterday was the first day that we have had any really good sunshine in several weeks.  This morning, I awoke and even though I was tired because I stayed up too late last night, I bounded out of bed at 5:20am to get going with my day.  I got the girls up and fed and off to volleyball at 6am and then went for coffee and my bible.  In the middle of getting this all done, I thought to myself, "I haven't felt happy like this in many days, what is different?"  It dawned on me that the weather has been gloomy for just about the whole time that I have been feeling kind of glum.  Funny how we let these little disturbances in  the weather affect our mood.  Now, I could "should" myself all day long and say things like, "oh I shouldn't let the weather affect me like that," but the reality is that little things like that do affect us and how we act and respond.  No sense in avoiding the truth, but I did go to my bible to see if my Father God had anything to say about this.  I looked up "gloomy", it isn't in the bible, at least not in mine, let me know if you find it in yours.  Then I looked up despair...sounds kind of drastic for the little bit of gloom that I have from the weather....anyway, this is where God took me.

I found myself in 2 Corinthians 4.  The heading in my bible  for this chapter says, "Treasure in Fragile Clay Jars".  Well the fragile clay jars of my world have been soaked with rain in these past days and everything is droopy and falling apart, I need a little sunshine to brighten things up.  This is what God said to me:

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.  This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.  We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed.  We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God.  We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.  Through suffering our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies." 2 Corinthians 4: 7-10

This is exactly what has been going on with me these last few weeks with all the rain and gloom. But, the sun shines today and God does come out on top and He will bring us with Him if we will just go.  Yeah!!!! I am going with Him.  I like coming out on top. 

I realize that the gloomy, dark feeling that I have been experiencing is not really from my kids and the mud and wet clothes, but it is from the destruction and despair that is all around me here in this country that is so devastated by the storms.  These people are really suffering and I have compassion in my heart for them.  I want to fix it all.  Later in chapter 4 it goes on to say:

 For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.  So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. 

This is our hope!  This is what we must focus on in the midst of struggles and gloom and despair. This is how these people here get through devastation like we have seen this week.  It doesn't matter how great or small our struggles are, if we focus on them, we will be taken down in the muck and the mire, but if we focus on the promises of the Father, we will come out on top because He always does. 

May you be blessed and bless someone along the way today!